Two hikers are in Yellowstone, chatting. “Those buffalo sure are hairy.” one said. “Marcus, with you, everything is hairy.” His friend said.  “Whatevs.” Marcus, who was indeed very hairy, said. Suddenly, down in the valley, the buffalo start running in the other direction. “Huh? Why are they running? Did you forget to put on deodorant again?” “Dave, I’ve told you a hundred times to stop saying that.” They turn and see a large creature. “What the..?” The creature attacks Dave, and he gives a Wilhelm scream. Marcus runs for his life.

Tom Scatterbrain is at home, sitting at his desk and working on some fanfiction. He types some dialogue, then grimaces and deletes it. His phone rings “What Does the Fox Say?” He exits his house and gets into his car, a fairly average model.

Becky Gunner is at home, practicing her moves on a punching bag. “Go easy on me, Becky.” “I always do, Steve.”  She kicks the bag, and sends Steve flying. She goes for a water break. Her phone rings. “Eye of the Tiger.” She heads out in a Jeep.

Hannah Nette is playing video games. She is a little thinner than is healthy. Her best friend, Lilly Lopez, walks in. “How much have you eaten?” Hannah looks sheepishly. “Half a waffle?” Lilly doesn’t say anything, but just points to the kitchen. Hannah slowly shuffles to the kitchen, dragging her feet. Later, her phone rings. “Immortals”. She looks to see if Lilly is around, and then sneaks off. She drives off in an older, dirty car.

Harry Steele is at home. He has big muscles, and is easily described as “an ox of a man”. He’s the kind of guy who has very good success at bargaining. He’s lifting 100-pound weights with ease. His phone rings. “Hero.” He takes off in a big red pickup truck.

Buck Jeffers is at home, watching a nature documentary. His phone rings. A lion’s roar. He drives off in a Toyota Prius.

Everyone starts to arrive at what seems like an abandoned building. They start glancing at each other, getting their first impressions. Eventually, they enter the building. The interior looks high-tech and dark. Behind them, a tall man in dark clothing enters on a raised platform, unnoticed until he spoke. “You will be wondering who I am, and why you are here. The first question is easily answered.” He lifts his sleeve to reveal part of a mark, a bird talon. They back up into a table. “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Aggravated.” Hannah breathed. “The second question is a little more difficult. Let’s begin by stating why you were called here. All of you have done something truly remarkable that makes me think you are the best for the job at hand. Tom Scatterbrain, won an award for saving Nintendo from disaster when their computers crashed. Just in time for a new Pokémon  Mystery Dungeon game, too. Becky Gunner, first Army officer to take out three tanks with three pebbles and a pistol.” “How’d she do that?” Tom asked, amazed. “She threw the pebbles into the engine, and used the pistols to take out the drivers. Tanks went right into a rock face and went boom. Hannah Nette, expert gamer and YouTuber. Incidentally, finish the Sun and Moon walkthrough.” “Will do,” Hannah said, because when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Aggravated tells you to do something, you do it. Period. “Buck Jeffers, zoologist and nature documentary host. Harry Steele, saved lives at the scene of a wreck. Now that you know what made you notable, on to why you are here. There are rumors that the Christian Morphers can use the anomalies from Primeval as a mode of transportation. They are true. However, a few months ago, Marco dropped the Anomaly Opening Device and did currently unknown damage to it.” “Excuse me, but Rachel shot me in the hand with a Nerf gun.” “Be quiet, Marco.” “OK.” “Afterwards, the AOD began opening rogue anomalies on its own. When a creature goes through the rogue anomalies, it loses all connection with the Christian Morphers, and goes ‘savage’, as the mammals of Zootopia once put so eloquently. These rogue creatures are a serious threat to the public. Your job is to go out and capture the rogue creatures, or hopefully, get them back through the anomaly, which will restore their memories. Your respective jobs are: Tom: Field coordinator. Becky: Safety specialist, basically just keep everyone alive. Buck: Animal expert. Hannah: Animal tracker. Harry: Team leader.”  “No thanks. I’ve had enough leadership for a while.”  Harry declined politely. “Then who will be the leader?” Hannah asked. “I might know someone.” Becky says. She glances at Buck with a mischievous look on her face.

Jasmine Vale is at home, practicing shooting with Nerf guns. She gets a call. She looks at her phone. Becky Gunner. “Yeah?” “I got something for you. A job.” “You know I like lots of free time to pound cardboard with toy bullets.” She says sarcastically. ‘Yeah,” She said, glancing at Buck again. “You’re gonna like this one.” “Oh?” “Just go to these coordinates. I’m sending them now.” Jasmine goes out and gets in a HUGE Cadillac Escalade. She’s modified the car with extra armor. Later, she rolls into the parking lot with the other cars. She notices Hannah’s old car. Notices Buck’s car. Her eyes narrow in suspicion. She walks into the building. When she arrives in the room, she sees Buck and stops dead. She looks at Becky with comprehension. “So, Becky, what’s the big job?” Becky explains it in about two minutes. Jasmine wolf whistles. “Well, I never expected this.” “I will now tell you what creatures are loose right now. There is a Mortoniceras.” He shows an image of a Mortoniceras. “You will not have to deal with that one, Craig’s squad will take that one. There is a Latimeria.” He shows an image of a West Indian Ocean Coelacanth. “That one will be taken care of by Erica’s squad. These are the ones you will need to worry about. Inostrancevia.” He shows an image of the creature that killed Dave. “Scutosaurus.” He shows an image of a Scutosaurus. “And Coelurosauravus.” He shows an image of a Coelurosauravus. “This anomaly is in Yellowstone National Park. There is already one known attack. You will have to convince the witness that he did not see a prehistoric animal, but something that will not interest the news.” “How will we know which one is the witness?” Harry asked. “Just look for the guy who looks half-Bigfoot.”

The team’s official ES-500 drives up to a news crew. The team gets out. “We’ll take over from here.” The news crew takes one look at Jasmine’s impressive physique, and decides to grant her wish. “So who are you guys?” Marcus asked. “Not important. What is important is what you saw.” Becky said assertively. Marcus began to recount his story, stuttering from fear. “M-me and Dave were up on-on a mountain. We-we saw some buffalo. We were watch-watching the buffalo. We were j-just joking around as-as usual. The-the buffalo started running away. Dave-he turned and this big giant thing appeared. It sunk-sunk these huge fangs into Dave, and I-I just ran. What was that thing? How does something like that even get into a national park?” Jasmine opens her mouth, but Becky lays a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe I should take this one.” She said. To Marcus, “The creature was a cougar with a rare genetic condition that gives it larger canines.” “No, it couldn’t have been a cougar. It didn’t have any hair.” “The condition causes cougars to lose their hairs.” She explained. “Don’t tell anyone about what you saw. It’s better for everyone if you don’t tell. Because who would believe you?” Harry suggested.

The team enters the park. Becky and Jasmine, both ex-military, look serious. Hannah looks a little nervous. Her creature-fighting experience comes solely from video games. Buck is looking around. He sees something in the trees and holds his hand out. “Hey, guys.” “What?” Jasmine asks. He points at a dead buffalo in a tree. “It must be the Gorgonopsid. They’re known to drag their prey up into trees, like leopards. You see it in Primeval, episode 1.1.” Hannah said. “Yeah, and since Inostrancevia is so much larger, it would be able to take larger prey.” The group walks on a little more. They come upon the Coelurosauravus eating something. It notices the group, chirps, opens its wings, and flies away. They chase after it. “Hey, come back!” They chase it. The Coelurosauravus leads them to the Scutosaur, which is eating a plant. “Okay, we’ve found two creatures. But we still need to find the anomaly.” Hannah gets out a compass. It is still, not spinning. Their comms buzz, as Tom calls in. “Hey guys. What’s up?” “We have visual of two creatures, but have yet to find the anomaly.” Becky said. “Come nighttime, I might be able to fix that. And Becky, could you speak in the vernacular? Not all of us are ex-Army.”

Hours later, the group looks at Hannah. “All right, Nette, what’s the big idea you’ve had us waiting for all day?” Jasmine asked. Hannah held up her phone. “Uh uh uh, you didn’t say the magic word.” The app Nedry said. “Please.” Jasmine said. “Shine a flashlight in its eyes. It’ll scare it and make it run. Follow it. Let’s see where he thinks it’s safe.” Hannah said. “That sounds like a quote.” Becky pointed out. “It is. It’s from Primeval again.” She admitted. Buck got a flashlight out of his backpack, and shone it in the Scutosaur’s eyes. As Hannah predicted, the Scutosaur takes off running. The team follows it. “You didn’t mention it was so fast!” The Scutosaur ran through the anomaly. “One down, two to go! Woo!” Hannah cheers, raising her arms in the air. Buck laughs at her enthusiasm. Tom is heard laughing over the comms. Becky and Harry smile. Jasmine remains stone-faced. “Where’d the lizard go?” “Coelurosauravus. By the way, not really a lizard.” Buck said. “Well, um…” Jasmine stuttered. Becky looked between them, thoroughly enjoying the moment. They hear chirping. “There it is. Hey Buck, what would a Coelurosauravus like to eat?” Hannah whispered. Buck tosses her a small green fruit. “Come on, come on, Peter.” The Coelurosauravus follows her, eyes on the fruit. She backs up through the anomaly, and it follows. A minute later, she jumps back through, fruitless. “Whoo! Ha ha! Two down!” “Now all we need to do is find the big one.” Becky said. In the trees, the Inostrancevia is sneaking up. It roars and charges. Becky and Jasmine start firing their tranq guns, but the shots have no effect. “It’s no use. Scatter!” Becky said. They flee, but Hannah trips. The Gorgonopsid sees her, and advances. Suddenly, a stone hits it. “Hey Simba! Pick on someone your own size.” The Gorgonopsid roars, but Harry is not fazed. He lunges forward, punches the Gorgonopsid with an uppercut, then striking it from the side. He grabs its snout. The Gorgonopsid rears up. “Now, Becky!” Harry yells. Becky fires, hitting it in the stomach with a tranq dart, and it collapses. “So who wants to get it back through?”  Everyone laughs.

The team is gathered at the base, cooling down from the mission. They’re sitting in a lounge, relaxing, drinking from juice (No alcohol allowed), joking around, chatting, etc. “If we’re going to keep doing this, we should probably come up with a name for our organization.” Harry suggested. “Good idea. So, what should our name be?” Becky asked. “The name should be descriptive, and reflect our status as adventurers.” Tom said. “Creature Wranglers?” Hannah suggested. “Too obvious. And it needs to sound professional.” Becky said. “The name should be an acronym.” Jasmine said. “Love a good acronym!” Buck said. The group thinks for a bit. Tom is writing down possibilities. “Well, whenever Disciplus writes a fanfiction, pretty much every organization had DO in the name, for Defense Organization. That should be in the name.” Hannah said. Tom looks up. “I think I’ve got it. Rogue Anomaly Defense Organization.” “RADO… I like it.” “That’s rare.” Becky said. Jasmine gave her a death look. “RADO it is.” Buck said. “We need t-shirts.” Hannah joked. Everyone laughed.

Next time on  Primordial

When an anomaly opens in Mammoth Cave to the Carboniferous, the team must face some large arthropods. But is there another, bigger threat on the way?

Futuristic Items

ES-500- a car that runs on an environmentally-safe source. The car's name means Environment-Safe 500